The choice of a gift is therefore not trivial and we expose ourselves to enthusiastic, neutral, negative or, even worse, hypocritical reactions. But let’s not dramatize, this is not the spirit of the site. I especially wanted to share with you an important information for the success of a gift: the hidden meaning. We will complete with the advice (validated by science) to not make a mistake in the choice of the gift.

The hidden meaning of gifts:

Let us consider the following cases and their psychological and symbolic significance:

A gift that does not come out of its wrapping indicates the presence of a childhood trauma. There is a painful affect related to the holidays that the person does not wish to evoke.

A gift that is too expensive to be honest: when a gift is given TOO expensive, it is perceived as an attempt to dominate and show superiority. There is therefore a discomfort, especially when the reciprocity is impossible.

A binder or a school book: this type of “useful” gift shows a fear of emotions. It is a way to reassure oneself by the functional character of the object.

A voucher: this utilitarian choice is either a fear of transmitting one’s emotions and choices, or a lack of interest in the person…

An electric train or a teddy bear to a young person who doesn’t want it: this is a roundabout way to fill a personal need. We offer what we wanted as children.

A gift resold on a site the next day: we do not tolerate a desire that is imposed on us or it may be a negative opinion for the person who offered it.

A gift that we like for a long time: it shows that we or those who want to spoil us know what we want. It also shows that we know how to express what we like through conscious or unconscious messages.

A real good surprise: a gift that we did not expect or hope for and that awakens new or forgotten emotions.

The choice of a gift (for a scientifically proven pleasure)

Francis Flynn, from Stanford University, has studied the art of gift giving in depth. The result of his research is that giving a (nearly perfect) gift involves putting yourself in the place of the person receiving it (this was called empathy not long ago). The second factor, which is not really a factor, is the price. Indeed, the value of a gift is not measured by the price invested, which is fortunate, as you will agree!

The key is therefore: personalization.

A good gift is therefore (use the following list as a checklist):

• personalized
• not too expensive…not too cheap
• it gives as much pleasure to the one who receives it as to the one who offers it
• it reveals the personality and desires of the donor and the recipient
• it makes you laugh without mockery

Thus, Michel Lejoyeux suggests, to please a teenager, to offer him some time with you via a trip, an experience,… simple and yet so effective!

Tip: We will keep the following tip in mind among families: set a maximum price for the gifts. This solves many cases of conscience and allows you to really focus on personalization, in short, the essential!