For a very long time, I’ve been baffled by the inexplicable reason why some people have an abundance of empathy while others don’t. People who are overly empathic often find themselves in relationships with narcissistic people, who are at the other end of the empathy spectrum. The former are so much more deserving of discussion and praise, so I don’t think it’s helpful to concentrate on them in this debate.

But what a lovely thing it is when two empathic people come together. Those who possess empathy deserve those who possess empathy.

I have done word studies on the Greek word epi-a-case (epieikes) several times over the years. I’ve always focused on the characteristics of this trait in people, but now I want to pay attention to how these traits manifest in action.

This word means gentleness, meekness, graciousness, and there is definitely a kind patience involved in the person who is characterised by epi-a-case. Such a person is sensitive and caring, and in our society, these qualities are frequently viewed as weaknesses. But the person with epi-a-case isn’t weak at all.

If we add all of these elements together, as far as another person can see, we see in this person the quality of empathy, to at least this regard:

Because of its commitment to grace

empathy will suffer a broken heart,

and yet that suffering will build

even stronger vulnerability.

Empathy can experience

the fullness of God’s reality,

because truth with love,

both to their fullest,

is worth the experience.

Empathy can be bravely vulnerable,

because it knows no other way.

Yet we often suppress empathy

because it feels like weakness.

Particularly in an increasingly narcissistic age,

one of the greatest gifts we can give our children

is opportunities to experience and express empathy.

In terms of interpersonal connection, those who have empathy provide warmth of survival in the chilly of conflict. They hold a higher view than the void left by warring parties who favor estrangement, which is filled with desolation. The only thing that can be called love is empathy because it reaches and keeps reaching out and upward.

Love reaches forth without expecting

the other to reach back.

It offers strength to those

who would take strength away.

Yet, love, in the glory of wisdom,

will rebuke the abuser for the abuser’s own good.

Love loves because it can,

not because it must,

not because it’s cajoled,

and definitely not to be repaid.

When love is expressed in the real world of empathy, amazing things happen. Such love knows no bounds, and it soars into transcendence on the wings of hope, believing against all odds in order to bring about reconciliation.

As a result, if empathy can be translated as love, we must understand that love is both the goal of all existence and a means to that end.

There are opportunities to live in love.

We must act now to avoid losing them forever.

And if we miss them today,

we take them tomorrow.

How gracious is the Lord

to esteem to us a full life

of repetitive error

where the opportunity to overcome

is continually presented?

We must end with empathy because that is how we started.

Empathy is compelling because of its relational beauty. It is a characteristic of people who value relationships. In a relational world and life, those who would reject empathy, whether receiving it or participating in it, are fools. People who reject empathy belong to the same category as those who would abuse the very systems that they are trying to promote.

The power of empathy, however, is eternal and impervious to destruction. God will always have the final say, so this everlasting supremacy is worth going through abuse for.

Empathizers actually live in God’s kingdom.

Once they understand that,

they already have everything.

Such a person is destined for contentment.